Let’s talk about how to be feminine as a woman and why it is important.
Did you know that you have a core essence? Masculine or Feminine.
A woman in her feminine is powerful, passionate and very intuitive. A woman not in her feminine will feel as if something is missing in her life. If you feel like you’re missing something in your life, this post is for you!
If you feel like you are missing your feminine spark and have been finding yourself exhausted and burnt out from giving too much, it is time you reconnect to your feminine radiance as a woman and let this superpower of yours beam.
Be honest, do you feel burnt out as a woman?
If you do, it’s normal. For the past 12 years I have worked with hundreds of women to help them be women again! Does this sound silly? Really, “how could a woman lose her femininity” anyways?! As silly as it sounds, many women have been programmed to shame their femininity! You go-go-go and hit a wall where you feel a massive breakdown in your life, health and relationship and start feeling like you are unwell, not good enough, super tired, the list goes on…
You might be asking, “how do I know if I have a feminine core essence or a masculine core essence?”
I’m going to give you the simplest way to know you are feminine at the core!
Ask yourself these 2 questions and answer from your heart:
Would you rather be cherished first and respected second?
or
Respected first and cherished second?
The feminine wants to be cherished.
The masculine is always wanting respect.
If you are in a relationship and you are NOT being cherished, look at how you are with your partner…are you respecting him?
At the same time, wanting to be respectful to your partner when you feel resentment can be hard!
Why would he not want to cherish you?
You are the one demanding respect and this puts you both in your masculine. I’ll tell you what, two masculines in a relationship cancels out the energy and there is literally no polarity.
Phew. It’s a deep conversation, isn’t it?
Let me share MY story with how I came back to my feminine as a woman!
My now husband Ryan and I have been together for over 20 years and married for 3. I was very competitive with him and we constantly had a power struggle in our relationship. My parents taught me if I want something in life I must hustle really hard and “do as the boys do” am I right?!
My mind would be upset that we weren’t engaged sooner and I would be such a nag to him! I learned that my controlling ways caused a fear of commitment, pushing feeling cherished away and my constant competing with Ryan created a disconnect for us romantically.
What is interesting is my competitive drive helped our business become successful, deep down my heart wanted love over praise.
Back in 2012 we achieved success in our business together and we celebrated the massive goal we achieved. Our whole relationship all I was focused on was business and money and never on my happiness or our relationship. It was quick for us to see that neither of us were meeting each others needs and putting our love on the back burner to business.
Though we focused together on action in our business to achieve the goal and treated our business as our common ground, our romantic life did not get better. Clearly money wasn’t solving my lack of femininity.
I started working with a coach who helped me see that my relationship with Ryan was flat. Ryan and I were like crabs in bucket, have you heard this saying? As quickly as one would climb up, one would pull the other down.
I was NOT in my feminine receiving Ryan’s guidance and love, I was the one trying to guide and lead him!!
Because I was not in my feminine radiance, my body had many health issues. My hormones were out of harmony. I had acne, hair loss, horrible irregular periods and I decided to overhaul my life that year.
The hardest thing for me was to accept that being in my feminine was powerful.
I prided myself in being able to everything on my own that I never asked for help.
I started to heal this within myself and explore my story around the feminine energy and why I pushed it away within myself and started to help other women do the same!
Ryan took the lead in our relationship, I trusted him and I focused on my heart and feeling filled up.
We got engaged and married and had a baby all in a couple short years!!
What does the feminine want in life?
Actually as simple way to feel what the feminine wants is to just know that you want LOVE.
In other words, love and relationships are the most important thing to a feminine woman and if there is love missing in your relationships you will see it reflecting in all areas of your life. You naturally desire to be seen, heard and filled up with things that bring you joy!!
You don’t want to be bogged down by things that cause a lot of stress or challenges.
The masculine energy thrives on providing and building. They love a challenge where they are risking it all!
I am not saying you will never be in your masculine “doing mode”, you absolutely will be! If you have goals or a job you must take action and you will be in times you are in hustle mode.
When you know the power of you in your femininity, you will spend less time forcing and more time flowing in your life and creating, this is the secret!
How does a woman lose her feminine energy?!
If the feminine core essence is our super power as a woman, how did we lose it? Your feminine essence started to dim in your childhood and here’s how. Back then, your dad (or the masculine in your home) would have come home and asked “How did you do today?” and as a little girl wanting love, you will link up in the brain that you must DO GOOD to BE GOOD.
Doing energy again is not the feminine’s vibe. She loves to receive.
If your dad came home and said “How did you FEEL doing that today?” you would have linked up that your feelings matter and that they are acceptable and play a role in how you create as a female.
As you can tell, this was wired in us at a young age and by what you heard and saw in the home!
If mom was the controlling one and “wore the pants”, you were shown to tuck our feminine receiving abilities away and only push push push to get what you want. This is exhausting after time!!
I was taught if I wanted anything to not whine, but instead just go after it! This left me believing that feelings don’t matter and I should just push them aside and take more and more action to be seen, loved and heard by the people who mean the most to me.
I shamed he feminine and had a story it was weak to be a girly girl.
Again, this left me out of harmony.
What happens to a woman who’s not in her feminine?
Listen, you as a woman can juggle many things at one time. It’s truly amazing how much you as a woman can manage at one time. The feminine brain quickly flips from right to left lobe and it is easy for women to do this!
But when you as the feminine decide to take on the masculine role of the giver, provider, and leader of the home and it’s not your natural essence, there will a cost to you not being in your feminine. The cost is always going to be your energy, time and health.
Women I have helped come back into their feminine had to give up control and trust the power of their femininity. That meant they hit burn out and broke down. They were able to feel what they truly wanted and that was to be cherished and loved.
Some women were at the brink of divorce! I would hear how fed up she was with their husband’s lack of purpose in his life and when I asked if she voiced her feelings to her husband this, she said “No, I just took charge”. This is the number one thing women complain to me about, their men not stepping up and I would simply ask “do you let him have a chance?”
Yes, look at where you want to take charge and get things done faster. Does asking for help cause you to feel uncomfortable? Because the feminine receives, you must notice where you want to push help and love away and let the masculine in to give to YOU! It is key to work with the masculine together in harmony! These energies are like a battery that are meant to work together.
Will he F up? Yes. Stop controlling and let him F up. Trust trust trust!
So, explore this within yourself…what does the feminine within you need and why are you pushing it away?
This is what a feminine woman can feel if she is not living in her feminine…
Heaviness.
Exhaustion.
Burnout.
Confusion.
Overwhelm.
…many other things too.
Your health and body will feel it when you are not in your feminine essence. Your hormone health will feel it. What can happen when you are not fully in your feminine is the male hormones; testosterone and cortisol will rise and again, this will leave you feeling quite depleted over time.
To put it another way, the feminine LOVES to be fuelled up and RADIANT, when you are out of our core feminine essence you notice you feel dull and lack your true radiance.
My focus for you right now is to get your radiance UP.
I have a whole workbook that can help you. Download Tools For A Radiant You Workbook now!
How to get back into the feminine as a woman!
- You have to choose if you you truly want to live a life where you are cherished first.
- Every morning and night check in with your heart – “On a scale of 1-10 where is my heart? What does it need?” (give your heart what it needs to feel closer to a 10)
- Let yourself be cherished. Receive compliments, gifts, guidance, love, the beauty around you daily.
- Put your controlling ways aside and trust that you can be lead. (I know this can ruffle feathers. If you are in a relationship and want to be in the feminine, trust your partners lead. Let him plan the dates and receive!!)
- If you’re a busy woman like I am, make sure you are taking 30 min a day to have a bath and come back into your body, your heart and your feelings. This 30 minute “reset” will allow you to hang up your lady balls and switch back into your feminine!
- Stop shaming your feminine and embrace it! Do things daily that fill you up with JOY!! Do you do what you love for a living? Are you doing creative things you love to do? Are you enjoying each bit of food, sip of coffee and self-care? Start today.
- Wear things that make you feel really good! Even down to your pyjamas! If they are ratty throw them out.
- If getting ready every day makes you feel radiant and feminine, do it. Even if you’re not seeing anyone.
- Have times through the day where you move your body and dance or workout!! The feminine feels, she needs to feel her body and appreciate it. She also needs to let stagnant emotions out!
- If you need help with hormones, ask me! I worked with essential oils to heal mine and this helped me get back into my feminine (and grow my hair back)
As you can tell by reading through some of the ways you can get back into your feminine as a woman it all comes down to FEELING. Let yourself process your feelings, be filled up with feelings of love, spend time with loved ones, make great meals, it goes on and on…make a list of what you really want to feel every day. : )
OK!! There is more to this list when it comes to getting back into your feminine WITH your partner – would it help you if I did a blog post on that specific topic?? Let me know below in the comments!
xxoo
Kris
[…] desire to live a healthier life and embodied in my feminine essence started hair used to be so thin around the front of my head and I was very self conscious about it. […]